"Buddhism is often understood as a path to eliminate or lessen the suffering in our lives. We often think that suffering arises from forces beyond our control, with old age, sickness, and death being the examples originally pointed to by the Buddha in his discourse on suffering. But the truth is, we create a lot of unnecessary suffering in our lives long before old age, sickness, or death take their toll, simply by the way we communicate with ourselves."(Cynthia Kane, "How to Communicate Like a Buddhist", 2018)
"Expectation is a common way that we take a positive habit or practice we're involved in and use it against ourselves, and when we do so, negative self-talk is sure to follow." (Cynthia Kane, "How to Communicate Like a Buddhist", 2018)
"From a Buddhist perspective, negative self-talk can be defined as language you use when you communicate with yourself that is unkind, unhelpful, or untrue. It's when you speak to yourself in a way that diminishes your very being. This can be in ways that are big and obvious (like when you judge and berate your body), or little and hard to spot (like when you subtly compare yourself to someone else and decide you aren't 'enough'). Negative self-talk is language that promotes suffering." (Cynthia Kane, "How to Communicate Like a Buddhist", 2018)
"Many times our body language is a product of what we are thinking or saying; thus, this mode of self-communication is related to the first two on the list. It is important to notice the subtle messages we can convey to ourselves through how we hold and use our body when we are speaking or thinking negatively about ourselves." (Cynthia Kane, "How to Communicate Like a Buddhist", 2018)
"Mindfulness is a fundamental component of true listening and essential to freeing yourself from old judgments and self-talk. Mindfulness is the practice of being aware of the moment you're in with nonjudgmental attention. What sets mindfulness apart from what we commonly think of as “paying attention” is that with mindfulness, you become an observer or witness of whatever may come up inside of you, and this includes self-talk. Seen in this light, I define mindfulness as paying attention to what's happening in the outside world as well as what is happening in your inside world, all in the present moment." (Cynthia Kane, "How to Communicate Like a Buddhist", 2018)
"Mindfulness traces its origin to Buddhist meditation. To be mindful in Buddhist meditation means to witness and observe thoughts without attaching too much importance to them." (Cynthia Kane, "How to Communicate Like a Buddhist", 2018)
"Negative self-talk that grows loud enough can not only make for an unhappy daily existence, but if left unchecked, it can lead to other, more serious conditions." (Cynthia Kane, "How to Communicate Like a Buddhist", 2018)
"One of the things I love about Buddhism is that it's realistic. Rather than having a rule that says 'don't judge', Buddhism accepts and understands that judgment often occurs in the mind whether we want it to or not, and that it's far more helpful to examine the origin of our judgments and see what beliefs we are holding that are supporting these judgments and giving rise to the subsequent negative self-talk." (Cynthia Kane, "How to Communicate Like a Buddhist", 2018)
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